(ye gads, y’all knew this was satire, right??)
Some professional writing organizations have opted to admit self-publishing writers at an alarming pace, insisting three or four or five years is plenty long enough to spend debating the issue. It would be best to invest another two or three years at least, but the push just won’t stop. Under such pressure to act in haste, it’s important to understand the reasons self-publishers should be kept out.
First, it’s always been understood that who pays the author is of upmost importance. Purchase decisions made by thousands of readers—even tens of thousands of readers—should not be deemed equal to the decision of a single third party that has been properly vetted and approved. The approval of one or a few readers with proper job titles is what marks the professional.
And the money. Unless the money comes from readers instead. Then it shouldn’t count. Obviously.